I need my foot

Heavy weight, heavy weight. I have been feeling not great today. I really want to exercise but my foot is stinking hurt and I don’t know what the heck I did to it.

I think I felt it coming on before Saturday, but during service, last Saturday night I danced with the flags and my right foot started aching around my arch.

I had it prayed for and decided I wouldn’t stop walking on it but it got worse to the where it almost felt like a cramp when I stood on it. I was on and off it and when I try to ignore it the pain would get worse. I’m currently off it right now, but I really felt the effects of not exercising today, so I just paused and did a workout without my right foot.

I went into the kitchen for water and Kyah asked about it and said it sounded like a stress fracture and that I should compress and stay off it.

I asked how long it takes for those to heal and she said six weeks.

No. No. No.

Not happening.

If that’s what it takes to heal naturally I can’t go with healing naturally.

I need a miracle.

I need my foot.

It’s hard enough to get around the house. I want to jump and dance. If you know me I love movement it’s hard when I’m stagnant.

I’m going to Jauva Haus to get prayer and healing tonight. Call me crazy. I’ll walk it if I have to. I’m getting healed. God’s word works. God is faithful.

Days Later

This is actually a few days later, but I thought I’d put it on the same post. 

I went to Jauva Haus and the walk was painful, but I spoke to myself the whole way “You are healed, you are going to make it. This is my day. I’m not waiting till tomorrow, I’m not waiting on a conference. Healing is the children’s bread. I will receive it tonight.”

 

Before I left the house I saw myself in the middle of the coffee shop being prayed for.

When I arrived at Jauva Haus they were worshiping so I walked to the middle of the shop and joined them in worship.

Near the end of worship, they asked anyone needing healing to raise their hand and I raised mine. I had four or five people surround me and lay their hands on me. I told them I had pain in my foot and they commanded healing and wholeness to my foot. At that moment I had a flashback and realized this was exactly what I saw before leaving the house. I took hold of what the Word said and I knew I was healed even if I didn’t feel it. 

Hard Heart

I felt healing and I got a ride home from a friend. After that, it fluctuated. The pain would come and go and fear tried to knock on the door and say it doesn’t work, but I encouraged myself in the Lord and spoke out loud the truth. “No I am healed”

I spoke to my foot and commanded the pain to go.

Today is Sunday and it has been fluctuating since Wednesday progressively getting better.

That just tells you where my faith level is. God’s will is 100% instantly, but I have to hold on and keep speaking out the truth because my heart is not fully convinced.

I have had a hard heart. I still have a hard heart, but I have repented of my unbelief and am praying for a softening as I read the Word of God and stand on His promises.

The Cure

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday I went to the Cure which is Terradez’s yearly conference. Along with Ashley & Carlie Andrew Wommack and Joseph Z spoke. Everyone’s message was powerful, but my favorite was Joseph’s session. You can watch it on YouTube! Here’s the link! 

 

https://www.youtube.com/live/TnaNdJ_iqYI?feature=share

Rent

Friday I was pushed into asking Linda if she would rent to me because Thursday my sister said she was looking into renting out a home in our childhood neighborhood.

That’s where mom and the kids still are and where I need to be, so I got excited and told her that would be great and that I would rent if she did, but she didn’t give me much more details.

Friday she gave me more details.

I thought they were just looking into it, but they actually had a place they were considering.

So I asked how much the rent would be and she said $700 and instantly I started backing out. I felt anxious about it. Seven to eight hundred is the average price to rent a room in WP I was hoping to rent lower in Jax, so I could focus on helping with the kids.

I asked what the full rent was and how many rooms were in there and when she told gave me that info the rent she was asking me for didn’t make sense. I asked why it was so high and she told me because she and Tobias didn’t want to pay rent and they would have to put 6k up front.

Wrong Dynamic

I’m not judging her in the least. It’s a smart move to rent a house and rent out the rooms separately covering your own rent I just didn’t expect it.

I feel like it would be a different dynamic and it would feel more like she was my landlord than my sister.

If we were all paying equally then I would feel like we were sharing the house, but this arrangement didn’t sit well with me.

Another Option

I told her I would want to check in and see if Linda would rent from me and if she would give me a better price seeing that being right beside the kids would be a plus as well.

So I contacted Mrs. Linda and she got back to me pretty quickly.

She said that would be fine and I thanked her and told her to talk to Russel and get back to me on how much she would charge me.

I remembered that I prayed last year for a four hundred rent and I didn’t get that with my blessing home I’m staying in here in CO, but when that was brought to my remembrance faith quickened and I asked for it for this situation.

Saturday Tina asked if she got back to me and I reached out asking if they came to a price.

She responded by asking how much I could reasonably afford. I responded I could do 550, but 400 would be a blessing and I could help with the kids more.

I updated Tina on Linda’s question and not my response because I felt a little foolish for asking so low. But as Tina and I talked Linda responded by asking which room I wanted, if I needed a desk, and if 300 all-inclusive sounded good.” I was overwhelmed and was still on the phone with Tina and gave her the update upon the arrival of the message.

She wasn’t as happy about it as I was of course, but she tried her best to sound happy for me.

I am very thankful for this blessing, but it’s still bothering me that I may be the reason they pass up on that house. 

Thankful

I am so thankful for God’s provision. Anxiety keeps trying to steal my joy thinking that it’s too good to be true and that she’s going to change her mind and guilt-tripping me for not going with Tina because she’s my sister.

I realize I need to rest in God’s love more because I have doubts that this is real.

That’s a sign of a hard heart. Lord soften my heart to Your ways and Your Holy Fear. Amen.

 

Other than that I am fasting today because the Lord said unbelief is beaten through prayer and fasting and that’s because you are telling your body who’s in charge and not kneeling to the natural all the time.

I’m not doing it hardcore, so I’m just doing it for 24 hours, but I’m inching myself back into a fasting lifestyle. Just last week I was feeling lightheaded so I’m navigating a balance of taking care of myself and taking authority.

Fasting is an important part of the Christian walk, but it must be done with wisdom. 

 

I need to get my computer cleaned up and posted on fb. I hope to get 900 for it but if I just get 530 that will cover the month of June while I stay with Tina. I have to get with a schedule and I think having a job will help balance me a little, but we will see how it goes.

 

In His service,

Abbie

 

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