confused

I am a bit confused. 

I believe I told you about a particular job that seemed to fit so absolutely perfectly with everything. 

I thought for sure this was God’s provision showing up. 

I believed it was like the deer that came to Gary. 

You don’t hunt it; you receive it, but I got it wrong. I didn’t get the job. 

They went with someone else, and it turned out to be only a week of work anyway.

bothered

I am actually glad that I have another month with just me and the Lord before I move back to Woodland, but it bothers me that I missed it. 

I want to understand why. 

God told me not to get another job, but I thought that was to allow Christina to move back to Florida. 

While that did help her move back, I guess I’m supposed to continue to be without a job, perhaps until September. 

I was offered a place but was told I needed a job to take it. 

I don’t know. I thought I knew with this job, and I thought I knew with this place, but now I’m not so sure.

assignment

 I know that God is good, loves me, and has already provided for me. 

He has a place for me in Woodland Park and provision. 

I know He has put an assignment in my hands and material to study. That’s what I need to put my mind and focus on; as well as Him.

 I’ve been practicing deep thought on things pertaining to Him. I’m trying to better understand persecution, long-suffering, joy, and authority. Also, waking up each day with the right attitude.

confidence

 Not feeling like I’ve failed, which is a feeling I’m pushing against today because it was just last night I was told I wasn’t the choice for the job. 

This shouldn’t make a dent in my confidence in His provision. 

The job itself shouldn’t have made me feel more or less secure.

 If it does, I was pulling security from a job… from money. 

What I would have used the money on God can bring to my doorstep. I will keep my eyes on Him and the assignment He has given me. I will be faithful and take hold of my thoughts. I give Him all my needs and desires. It is for Him to provide, not me.

 

 Lord help me understand. I want to hear your voice clearly and not let my own desires muddle what you are really saying.

In His service,

Abbie

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;

3 Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.

4 There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.

5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.

6 The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.

7 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.

9 He maketh wars to cease unto the end of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spear in sunder; he burneth the chariot in the fire.

10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

11 The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

 

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