grace

Lord, I thank You for the grace to journal every day.

Hiya all; it’s been a pretty slow couple of weeks lately. I am finishing up the email stuff, but not trying hard enough since it’s not done. 

I wake up saying today! Today I will finish! Then I get distracted by literally everything else and barely even get to it that day.

I feel like I’m being tossed about, and I need to stand my ground. Yeah, there are a lot of things I could do, but there is only one thing I should do.

I need to drop the weights realize my priorities, and run with it.

I honestly look back on the last few weeks, and I know I did a lot, but there is nothing to show for it.

more important

I must be strong and focused in my mind. All the things that are good, but not God, I must cut out of my life with a surgeon’s scalpel. 

It won’t stay; I won’t let it. I won’t continue to go to bed late and sleep in. I don’t have that option. 

I have so much freedom because God trusts me with it. So I can’t let Him down. 

I can’t take this mission lightly. 

It should be taken much more seriously than if I had a job because I fear God and disesteem man. I honor the Lord above my brother. My assignment needs to be more important than a job would be.

Care

I feel this push that I’m not doing enough, and it’s a blanket of fear that I’m going to lose everything because I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, and I don’t know what to be doing and what if everything I’m doing is wrong?

I can see the spiraling down effect. But I’m not going to fall for it. This is a lie trying to trap me into misery and failure.

 

I don’t have to worry about anything ever again. 

God is taking care of me. 

God has my back. 

He is my shepherd, father, provider, healer, lover, and friend. He is my all in all, and He will never let me down, no matter what it looks like.

 

This is true because it rhymes.

 

Anyway…

glory to glory

Of course I started feeling this way after I was rejoicing that I don’t have to worry about a thing ever again.

And that is true.

Not only that, but I understood that I don’t have to ask for His help and grace but walk into the job with faith, knowing He is helping and giving me the grace to do the assignment He gave me.

Before, I was trying to do things to get grace, but that was because I believed in a lie.

 

I am changing. 

The Word of God is bringing me glory to glory. 

We are about to go into a season of go, go, go, but first; I must be secure in the slow. Do I find my security in Him or in doing things for Him? 

Can I rest in being His daughter, or do I have to feel useful to feel important?

 

It almost seems like a contradiction to what I said at the beginning of this post, but that’s balance. 

We need to know the importance of what we are doing without finding identity in doing it. Our identity is in the Lord. It doesn’t make us less when we do less, and it doesn’t make us more when we do more. God is our source, our strength, and our identity.

 

In His Service, 

Abbie

 

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