almost audible

Last night wasn’t easy for me. I had uncertainty, and that led to a lot of fear. I fought it back with the Word and worship, but it was only momentary relief. The only explanation I could give is that I am not as built up in the Word as I should be.

It felt overwhelming, so I cried out to God for help. I have been doing that a lot more lately.

I put on the latest Charis Chapel with Gary Keessee, and He began speaking directly to my situation with language I was using to talk with God. It was the closest thing I have ever gotten to an audible voice from God.

That Word lifted a massive weight.

I laughed and almost cried. He told me He had an assignment for me, and I was not supposed to leave the project to get a job for survival.

hear him

Truthfully I almost collapsed in relief.

I just wanted to know for sure.

If I knew for sure, I could withstand any attack and any storm.

Not being confident about what God wants is what shakes my world.

Did I hear Him right? I cannot live without communion with God very long.

He’s the reason I get up in the morning.

Whenever God asks me to do something dramatic, the devil comes in after the fact and tries to get me to doubt. “Did He really say?”

I don’t hear right all the time, which creates fear, which makes me scared to try and listen again.

We must see failure as a learning experience.

It’s not something defining our life but enhancing it. The more often we fail, the closer to success we get.

the price

No one succeeds without some failure, and most have a lot of failures to weave through before they achieve their dreams.

If we are afraid of failure, that will paralyze us, and we will ultimately become our fear. What does that mean for you?

Does that mean living in poverty?

Never pursuing the relationships you want?

For me, it means not having a deep relationship with God where we are in constant communion. This is my desire, so I have to evaluate whether I want to pay the price of failure or success.

The price of failure looks like the price of success.

You will experience failure one way or another, but you must choose how this molds you.

Only you get to decide what was an actual failure because you can learn and grow in every situation.

We will all experience failure, but only you can determine if you are a failure.


The greatest gift God has given mankind is free will. We don’t realize the power and responsibility that comes with that.

We must keep our eyes on the prize, pick ourselves up, and keep going no matter what.

Never give up.

I believe no one can succeed without help. That help can come from God, our family, friends, or leaders, but we must have a teachable attitude or experience additional failures between us and our dream.

my cry

Last night I felt like a failure, but I refused to give up.

I felt like hiding in a cave with my Bible and leaving everything alone, but I knew that’s not what I wanted.

I felt like I couldn’t hear God, but I knew I could.

It was a battle, and in this battle, I wasn’t strong enough to fight it on my own, so I cried out for help, and help came.

The Holy Spirit confirmed that I heard Him, and this will work. He also revealed that I once again picked up the pressure He is constantly reminding me to put down. I cried and my mind was at peace.

Thank you Jesus.


Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Isaiah 40:26