much to learn

Different?

I am such a yo-yo right now. 

I just watched an episode with Joseph Z where He interviewed Andrew Wommack, and God opened my eyes to Andrew’s humility as I’ve never seen before. I desire to be someone special. We all do and we are special, but I am subconsciously trying to prove the world that there is something different about me. 

Wait and see I will be at the top running with the best. 

Oh God this makes me want to cry typing this out.

I got Nothing

Thank you, Jesus.

I have wondered many times what makes me special? What makes me better than others, I tried to answer it, but I don’t have anything in the natural.

I am like Andrew, “plain as dirt.” I have nothing going for me.

I don’t have ANY exceptional talents, my brain shuts down on me in a conversation, I am not myself creative, I had close to no formal education, and often I want to shut the world out living in the mountains—just Jesus and me.

My faith wasn’t grand; I constantly allowed fear and doubt to plague my mind. 

The only reason I didn’t give up when I was young was because I had a vision, but it takes more than a vision to walk it out. 

face reality

For most of my life, I was dreaming.

 My action was paralyzed by fear of man and fear of failure. When you dream, you can believe in anything, but it’s hard to keep the vision in front of you when you open your eyes. 

We want to close our eyes again, keep scrolling on social media, and go back to our book, movie, or video game world. 

It’s not easy to face reality. 

There are real enemies in this world after us as God’s children. 

The only thing I have going for me is the same thing Andrew had. He had Jesus inside of him, and he had the Word of God.

 All the dreams God has given me. All of the promises will be fulfilled by the grace of God and His faithfulness, not my works. 

He has made lots of promises to me, and the only reason they would scare me or stress me out is I think I have to bring the promises to pass. It’s not me. 

It’s not my dreams or my vision.

much to learn

This is what God wants to do, and I don’t see how He will do it, but I believe He can.

 This is the humility I saw in Andrew. 

He was quick to build up Joseph, note where Joseph may know more, he didn’t puff up his stories but told them honestly how it was, and he credited it all to the Word that was changing people’s lives. 

I have so much to learn.

 I am taking it one step at a time, focusing on what God wants me to know instead of trying to make things happen. The Word will do it in me. I have to be faithful in putting the Word of God in my heart.

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