Holy Fear

blind

God is teaching me reverence.

I didn’t realize I was so selfish. I believed that the world revolved around me, and I didn’t see it.

How can we be so blind?

I’ve been running. I’ve always been running, scared to miss something.

I say I’m doing things for the Lord when I’m doing it for me. I shrink back from uncomfortable things and do things in my timing and in my way.

We seek God most when things get hard and when the pressure lightens up, we forget Him. We seek Him for us and not for Him. I am so sorry.

I want to live for Him, but I still live for me.

I want to obey, but I still weigh the cost.

be still

My mind can’t seem to wrap around that. So you are telling me I don’t have to work, just believe?

Works don’t produce faith, but faith produces works with results.

It just comes naturally like a blueberry bush making bunches of blueberries.

But if I don’t take time with Abba, I won’t get the understanding.

My mind won’t put the pieces together because my mind works in earthly wisdom while God’s Kingdom works with heavenly wisdom.

God or Success?

God gives the understanding.

He explains it. The Holy Spirit is our teacher, but if you don’t take time with our teacher, you won’t understand in your heart.

Your mind won’t wrap around the spiritual concepts. While seeing this, I thought, wow, that’s why we need to prioritize spending time with God, and the Lord said to me.

“Why do you need a reason to spend time with Me?

Why does it need to be beneficial to you?

If I’m no use to you, will you not spend time with Me?

Do you serve me or progress?

Do you love me or progress?”

That struck my heart.

Who am I serving?

Why do I need a reason to spend time with Him?

Why is He always pushed aside for a “more pressing task”?

Why is it seen as a task?

Why do I get to decide to put Him second place?

He is God almighty, and I don’t want to use Him as a tool for success.

This is me being self-centered.

How can I use God as a tool for my success?!?

I don’t understand how I have such a messed-up thinking process.

Lord, help me learn respect, reverence, honor, love, and humility.

Help me understand who You are and not dishonor, abuse, or misuse You. 

 God has been speaking to me about Matthew 6:24.

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 “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

Matthew 6:24

He showed me that when people go to work for the money, they are serving it.

So if I get a job for the money, I’m serving money.

When I’m building the business for the money, I am serving money.

He reminded me that working is worship.

I have heard this many times, and I knew it meant that whatever we do, we must do it to the Lord as in Colossians.

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“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”

Colossians 3:23-24

But now I see it also means that if you aren’t doing it as to the Lord but for the money, you are worshiping money. 

 

I know that’s not an easy pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.

 

Lord help me. Thank you.

In His service,

Abbie

 

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