Round Two

at it again

So today, we faced another giant.

But I think it’s the same giant with two faces. Were there two-faced giants in the natural? I think likely.

Anyhow. I love Jesus.

So yesterday, it was lust for food. Lust is a wrong desire. We found that we have victory in Christ, and we aren’t controlled by desire.

However, we have to activate our freedom with our free will, proven today by my lack of portion control.

I ate too many sweets today—silly me.

Anyway.

I have had a weight on me today. I feel myself running away from getting back to work.

I’m afraid to go back to work. I’m afraid of failing. It feels heavy. Crushing. It makes me want to find a safe place somewhere and hideout. Give up, I suppose. If you’ve been following my story, you know this is a recurring theme.

It sucks.

I’m working on it, though. That’s why I’m writing it down.

Same anwer

I need to dissect the problem. I have to know the answer.

The cry of my heart is, “LORD, SHOW ME THE ANSWER! HELP ME UNDERSTAND! TEACH ME!”

Today God had me compare the feeling to yesterday’s discovery. It’s my flesh crying like a baby again.

It’s saying, “I want to be safe. I don’t want this hardship anymore. I want to be safe.”

But God asked me, “Is that how you want to live?”

The answer is no.

I don’t want to play it safe.

I want to push the boundaries.

I want to do what it takes to become better.

I want to jump out of an airplane.

I want to walk in crazy faith.

I want to do things that seem impossible.

We will all die, and I’d instead go out on the battlefield charging the enemy than hiding in a cave.

This cry of our flesh is painful like the last, but it is described best as crushing.

It has the same solution. We don’t have to listen to it.

Know that we have victory in Christ Jesus.

Remember

It sounds simple, and it is, but it takes the effort of cultivating a mindset of victory and remembrance.

God has a thing for reminding us to remember.

He knows what we need.

We need to do WHATEVER it takes to keep the faithfulness of God before our eyes, remember what He has done for us, and remember what we really want, not what our flesh is trying to sell us into wanting.

Remember that we can’t do this without God.

Remember not to do it in our efforts.

Remember His love.

Remember to be humble.

Remember, we are servants.

Remember, we are royal.

God gives us answers all the time, but the reason why we get into the same rut over and over is that we forget. 

Prayer

So Lord, how can we practice remembrance? Show me what I need to do to keep all of these things front in mind. I want to lay off every weight and run the race you have set before me—the weight of the flesh. Thank You, Lord, for the freedom You paid for me to have. I love You.

In His Service,

Abbie

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