blood

Last night, I watched a show with Arielle, and after she left, I cleaned up the mess I made from the vegetable soup.

I snuggled up in bed to watch the recording from this year’s truth and liberty conference. 

I didn’t have much time to enjoy the recording before I heard a loud thud I thought came from above me, so I messaged Kyah and Bae to ask if that was them and if they were alright, but they messaged back and said that it wasn’t them.

I honestly don’t know if I should journal this.

I know I’m supposedly writing as if no one will read this, but I can’t seem to do it tonight. Keep it hidden, keep it safe.

 

Sigh*

 

Let’s just say that was the beginning of a heartbreaking adventure.

Someone I had come to love had been doing things we couldn’t live with, and I haven’t seen so much blood outside of movies in my life. 

betrayal

I don’t like the smell of blood, liquor, or betrayal.

 

I seemed to be taking it well, but that was forty-eight hours ago. Now I felt like hiding in a movie with a bucket of ice cream. I wanted to forget, I wanted to go to sleep; I wanted everything to stop. But I knew I needed to go to the Lord, so I resisted the movie and ice cream though I did eat a crazy sweet cupcake.

 

I don’t know why I had no desire to spend time with God for the last two weeks, but that finally broke, and I feel Him again. I’m not sure why it happens like this, but I’m back, baby, and we are getting better every time.

cheetah

I can’t let anything distract me from what Abba wants me to do.

I love what He wants me to do. He takes care of my every need, so Abba, I ask that you make it clear what you want me to do for work and what you don’t want me to do. I love You so much.

 

We have a lot to do, but not in an anxious way but in a good way.

I want to get back on the track and take off like a cheetah. No more living in a haze.

God has bigger plans.

God isn’t boring, and we have an amazing adventure ahead of us. We are the devil’s worst nightmare.

Not today devil.

That was a lot that was thrown at me the last forty-eight hours, but it’s done nothing but drive me to that breaking point I needed faster.

I need to get better at pushing through disinterest, but negative situations seem to break through the fog much easier if easier is the right word.

I’m going to spend time with Abba now. 😊

In His Service,

Abbie

 

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